An American Werewolf in Madrid

Im so drunk I'll tell you later

FREE BRITNEY! Petition

Chick be missin her thyroid gland

looks like she be modeling for Kathey Ireland

she need a lap band, system

baby don't know she gotta funky metabolism

Just wanted to let you know that I just saw the biggest nostrils Ive even seen in my life. They were like this {''''''''''''''''''} {''''''''''''''''''} wide. No shitting.

Yesterday I passed a possum on the sidewalk that had been dead for a couple weeks. I know because hes lying on the sidewalk outside a bar near my ap. He had a little doggy treat in his mouth. Aw. Nighty nighty, sleepy tighty!

It is NOT OK to wear the same outfits over and over and over again unless youre European! I tell my mother this, and she tells me that "Wearing an outfit three times is not the same as wearing an outfit over and over and over again, Kelly". What an IDIOT! ExCUSE me?! Yes it is! Over (1), and over (2), and over (3) again. I think Kansas is having a horrible and appaling denim shortage. I looked good in my jeans two years ago - why cant I find any decent jeans around here? Who are the shop-keeping idiots that cant find good California denim dealers that need to have their heads chizzecked? If you or your assiciates are buying bad denim and distributing it in Kansas I blame YOU for my recent fashion no-nos. FUCKING KATHEY IRELAND LINERS DIE! Girlfight.

There was something else, but I forgot. Eh. Who gives.

All I want for summer is a strapless tartan dress.

Overheard in the Anschutz Library:
Dude 1: "So two men are having a conversation. One man says to the other "Im a teepee! Im a wigwam! Im a teepee! Im a wigwam! Im a teepee! Im a wigwam! Im a teepee! Im a wigwam!" And the other man says, "Man, you're two tents""
Dude 2: "Im not tense, Im just trying to figure out what Im going to say in this..."
Dude 1: "No man, it was a joke. Two.", holds up two fingers "Tents.", creats an A over his head with his arms.
Dude 2: "Oh. Well thats a stupid joke"
Dude 1: "That girl gets it" nodding in my direction
Me: [opening livejournal]

While perusing Gawker I happened upon this:
( 12 Ways to Not Suck Still )

Now, if you are a Gawker-Goer or a NY reader (I, admittedly, am neither) then you already know this was provoked by the article published by aforementioned publication. My point, you ask? Ohhhhh, no point. No point at all. OK - Number 11. And 9. WHY?!?!?????

I retire to the chamber.

I C0NFESS THAT IN 20O5 I ..

( ) stayed single the whole year.
( ) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in/on a car
(x) kissed in the falling snow in: florence, italy
(x) kissed in the rain in: santiago, spain
(x) fell in love with: the wrong person
( ) fell in love with a idiot
(x) had your heart broken by: distance
(x) broke someone else's heart: monitor
(x!) had a stalker who: spray painted my name on walls
(x) had a good relationship with someone: that didnt last
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
(x) kissed someone of the same sex: for beer
(x) dated someone you'll never forget because: we needed each other
(x) done something you've regretted: more than once
( ) lost your true love
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under miseltoe

I left Mirko today. We arrived at the train station only a few minutes before departure. Running to buy my ticket, running to the other side of the platform, running, running, running. There wasnt time to say goodbye. We hugged. He kissed my mouth. I jumped on the train at the last minute. I suppose its best that way.

Im ready to move on with my life.

Remind me to tell you about what happened to me at work on Friday.

To teachers and those who associate with them:

If I can peel off all of my nail polish before class is over YOU ARE WAY TOO FUCKING BORING.

How ironic that EMI threatened Danger Mouse with legal action after the Gray Album and now hes producing one of, if not THE biggest albums of the year for said company///

If rocking you by day and eating sushi and dancing in a basement by night is wrong, I dont want to be right.

Given that one chinese person eats 1 cup of rice and feels satisfied, and I were a sack of rice, measured by weight not volume, I alone could feed 340 hungry mouths.

Im in a bar in Santiago and a man just pulled out his bagpipes and started playing them.

Two nights ago I was walking home from a cafe (lots and I mean LOTS of studying happening) and I turned down my street and some guy with dreads was standing under either Diana or Saras bedroom window whistling Perfect Day. I had never met him, and I know most of their friends since I spend as much time at their apartment as I do my own. I went up to my room and looked out the window and he was still there, whistling softly. I got ready for bed and when I looked out again he was gone. Must have gone upstairs. Things like that just dont happen in real life in America.

Lou Reed - Perfect Day

Just a perfect day
Drink sangria in the park
And then later, when it gets dark, we'll go home
Just a perfect day
Feed animals in the zoo
Then later a movie too, and then home

Oh it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on

Just a perfect day
Problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
It's such fun

Just a perfect day
You make me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
Someone good

You're going to reap just what you sow...

Cant believe that am out here in Spain and NOT keeping a diary. Am horrible. Must self terminate.

Last night went to Moores to play the pub quiz. Decided to start doing real adult things now that Im 22. :::phisssh::: Some of the basketball players from the Rosalia showed up. Mainly on the prowl, which I saw right through but but to my total dismay none of BetaGammaZeta girls noticed. Something about basketball players makes KU women hysterical. A frenzied calm came over everyone and the girls of BetaBetaAlphaMeta put up a fine exterior. Was like West Minister - just not the abby. Never had I seen such good posture in all of my life (I remind you that I am at the mature age of twentyTWO). One of the guys, let it be known - the most godly one, gave me my own nickname: WAP. Thats how to say map after 7 pints in an Irish bar. It can also stand for Women Against Prejudice. The good thing about meeting the new guys on the team is that they probably dont know I went home with one of the older players and havent heard the UN-true rumors about him railing my white ass into the headboard all night. The bad thing is I got smashed and let it slip about my little ok, 5 month long crush on the Basque. They gave me a personal invite to the game on Friday :::wink wink, nudge nudge::: but will be in Asturias on a weekender. Hopefully can see him again, as I want to ¨to it¨ with him. I heard some where that Basques had ¨big ones¨.

Maeve almost got in a fight with Jessica
Ben tried, but failed at starting a fight with Marco (name?)

Why cant. I write.

I forgot that Valentines Day even existed until the programs mail box was stuffed with valentines from the states today. Usually this holiday doesnt bother me. Ive never had a valentine. NOR did I want one. NOR did I care. Well, last Valentines Day was different because... it just was. I was with Aaron, Henry´s Upstairs, Fuk Love w/Ming & FS, the after party. Holy, that was a long time ago. It seems like he and I were together only a few months ago, but its been a year. I always pat myself on the back for how well I dealt with the break-up. I admit, it was a little ugly for a while, but could have been WAY worse. And you know it, too. But anyway, Ive never cared about that kind of childs play. Chocolate and roses, I mean, give me a BREAK! Peeyew! But the valentines made me sad today. Not like I have anyone to miss back home. Not like anyone should send me something, but I suppose thats the point. I dont really have anyone to miss. Or to miss me.